Call Me What You Want

While I don’t like the term “ex-gay,” sometimes I find myself using it in reference to myself for its convenience and understandability. Many people know at least vaguely what the ex-gay movement is. They can get a vaguely approximate understanding of how I see myself if I use that term. But I personally don’t identify as ex-gay. Or gay. Or straight. Or bi. Or former homosexual. Or homosexual. Or heterosexual. I’m not anti-label. I just haven’t found sexual orientation to be a terribly helpful concept for understanding myself. But that’s another topic.

I’m not saying this to be obscure about my sexual attractions. If you want to know, as best as I can estimate, my attractions are around a Kinsey 1.5. (i.e., on a scale of 0-6, where 0 = only hetero attractions, and 6 = only homo attractions.) Compared to a former 5.9 or something like that. I say 5.9 instead of 6 because I once had the hots for a guy for about 10 minutes in the fall of 1996. Trust me, it didn’t amount to much in comparison to the thousands upon thousands of same-sex attractions I experienced, waking and sleeping.

If you think that a 5.9 out of 6 isn’t really gay, fine. If you think that a 1.5 out of 6 is still really gay, fine. If you think I was just always bi and that a change of 4.4 is insignificant, fine. No skin off my back. Really. I don’t think I have a stake in any of the relevant labels.

On a side note, I try my best to respect other people and call them what they want to be called. So if certain people call themselves gay, I call them gay. I may not “believe in” sexual orientation, but how I address others is not the best way to make that point.


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