Irvine and Other Stuff

A bunch of folks have asked whether I will be in Irvine next week, for one reason or another. 

Alas, the answer is no.  I know I told some people last year I was sure I was going to make this year my first Exodus Freedom Conference.  And then the bXg conference would have simply been the icing on the cake–with a chance to meet the Christine Bakke (as seen in Glamour and on Good Morning America!!!)  But it’s just not going to work out.  Finances are tight, and neither Mr. DM nor I can really spare a week now .   If we could, we would take a vacation with it.  (I’m sure I would get a lot out of the various conferences, but I don’t think they would be especially relaxing or recreational for me, and Mr. DM would just be bored silly.) 

For those who are going to be there, Peterson asked if I would mention his open invitation to Exodus leaders to join some “ex-gay survivors” for dinner on Friday, June 29th.  The link is to the invitation, you can read more there and RSVP if you so desire.  I’ll be honest–I do have mixed feelings about it.  But…if it were me I would go.   


On a side note, I have been alternately wildly busy and completely exhausted.  So I apologize for the even worse than usual delays in replies to emails and comments, and I will deal with them as I can.  “Real life” is real crazy right now. 


10 Responses to Irvine and Other Stuff

  1. Pomo says:

    DM, I occasionally read but tonight was talking with College Jay tonight and he said you were one of his favorite bloggers 🙂 So thought i’d comment. I’m going to Exodus and plan to catch Petersons performance of homonomo on Friday night. Id actually love to go to the dinner but im not really exodus leadership. So i guess im not special enough for that.

    I have mixed feelings about it ALL. lol.. which is why I created this blog. Anyways, I like the stuff you have to say on this blog. Keep it up!

  2. Thanks DM for putting it out there. Chistine and I have already received one RSVP for the dinner (although we will not publish details about RSVPs and the dinner so as to respect the privacy of those attending).

    Pomo, I do hope I get to meet you in Irvine. DM can attest that I don’t bite. I just nibble, but I never break skin. 🙂

    I am interested in hearing about mixed feelings folks have about the Ex-Gay Survivor Conference. Obviously I come from a particular perspective. The vast majority of the conference is not about Exodus but about folks sharing their experiences, unpacking their pasts and looking at them afresh to assess their motivations as well as the good and the harm that came from their ex-gay journeys.

    The conference will be very interactive with no keynote speakers or lectures. Almost all of the workshops (particularly the ones for former ex-gays) will be facilitated in such a way as to get people up and moving and talking and writing and sharing and thinking. I hate going to any type of conference where folks have to sit around and mostly listen all day.

    DM shame you can’t be here in CA right now. The weather is PERFECT.

  3. I had no idea anything was happening in Irvine, and I live in Orange County and work in Irvine.

    Peterson’s right that the weather is great here right now.

  4. Karen K says:

    I will be at the Exodus Conference and will also attend parts of the Survivor Conference. I want to see Peterson’s performance and also hear what Mel White has to say. I spent ten years wrestling with all the issues and have settled peacefully with choosing not to continue in relationships with women. I do not believe it is what God desires for my life. However, I am always interested in hearing the stories of others and where other people’s journeys have led them. I plan to post a couple of blog articles on my experiences at the conferences. I am taking off early tomorrow morning for Irvine. Should be interesting!

  5. NNR says:

    “Poll majority: Gays’ orientation can’t change”, at (

    “A majority of Americans believe that gays and lesbians could not change their sexual orientation even if they wanted to, according to results of a CNN/Opinion Research Corporation poll released Wednesday.

    It’s the first time in a CNN poll the majority has held that belief regarding homosexuality.

    Fifty-six percent of about 515 poll respondents said they do not believe sexual orientation can be changed. In 2001, 45 percent of those responding to a CNN/USA Today/Gallup poll held that belief. In 1998, according to a CNN/Time poll, the number was 36 percent.

    In addition, 42 percent of respondents to the current poll said they believe homosexuality results from upbringing and environment, while 39 percent said they believe it is something a person is born with — a close division that reflects the national debate over the issue.

    However, those numbers are greatly changed from the 1970s and ’80s, in which fewer than 20 percent of Americans said a person is born homosexual. In a 1977 poll, the number was 13 percent.

    Ten percent in the latest poll said they believe both factors play a role in someone’s homosexuality. Three percent said neither, and 6 percent had no opinion.”

    Hmmm. Is this a good thing or a bad thing, DM? I’d love your opinion.

  6. Pomo: Hey, thanks for stopping by and commenting. I’ve checked out your blog a couple of times–it’s cool. Think I’ll add it to the roll, if you don’t mind.

    Peterson does indeed nibble. It is absolutely delightful. 🙂

    Peterson and Lynn: Thanks for rubbing your fancy California weather in my face. 🙂

    Karen: Wow…I just read your Exodus post on your blog. Wow, again. Powerfully convicting and encouraging at the same time–I’m working on a response right now. I can’t wait to hear more of your thoughts on that conference and on bXg as well. Hope you have fun!


    A good thing or a bad thing? I mostly think it’s a ridiculous thing. I personally believe that the only remotely reasonable opinion on the subject today of “is change possible?” or “is homosexuality inborn?” is agnosticism.

    We just don’t know yet, scientifically speaking, on either count. So I think it’s funny that all these Average Joe-and-Jane Hetero people have opinions about the matter. I mean, if I were being asked those questions, I would have said “Don’t know” and “No opinion.” (I would guess “Both” on the nature/nurture question, but that’s just sheer speculation on my part.)
    It appears I’m one of the few and the ignorant. The poll respondents should no doubt be writing this blog instead.

    Back to your question of whether I think this is a good thing or a bad thing…

    Well, I generally think that people holding uninformed opinions confidently is a bad thing. In this particular case, of course, the uninformed opinions seem to be good-for-the-gays, and what’s good-for-the-gays usually suits me just fine. Given that this opinion shift means that people will be less likely to be susceptible to being manipulated to dislike and de-sympathize with gays as I discussed in the previous post, it pleases me. Of course, to the extent that I care about being listened to or respected as someone who professes to have changed, I suppose the opinion shift doesn’t bode well for me. But whatever. 🙂

  7. NNR says:

    It occurs to me, DM, that your stance on homosexuality is very close to my Orthodox friends’ stance on keeping kosher: they have a strong believe that it’s what god wants of obedient jews; nonetheless, temptation to eat trayf food exists to one degree or another despite their being perfectly happy with their commitment to keep kosher; and that for the rest of the world who isn’t Jewish, keeping kosher would be a bit pointless (even though they believe god would obviously prefer people obey his laws, and that eating kosher may or may nt be a little healthier for their earthly bodies than the alternative).

  8. […] stuff, because I’ve been focused on the Godspell audition this week. But it turns out that some interesting stuff is going on right in Irvine, where I work: the Exodus Freedom Conference, for ex-gays or would be ex-gays, and the Beyond […]

  9. titration says:

    I wish I was going to the conference, I’m a huge fan of Mel White. O and BTW DM I posted our email exchange on my blog today…

  10. I did manage to make it to the bXg conference (and blogged about it), though not the Exodus one.

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