Medical Consequences of What Heterosexuals* Do

So basically I’ve been getting clobbered by morning sickness. Which, despite the name and contrary to my previous misconceptions, can (and in my case does) apparently last all day long.   Sometimes I have about an hour at night when I’m feeling okay; otherwise, it’s been well over a month of unrelenting wretchedness.

I’m sorry I reneged on my promise of blog content.  I thought that once I got my PhD  (yay!)  and had a chance to rest up a little I would have time and energy to blog like crazy.  I didn’t count on getting pregnant right away and getting my butt kicked by it so badly.  I’m having a hard time getting through work and the stuff I have to do each day, and when I’m done with that I mostly just want to curl up in bed.   Sorry for being such a wimp–I guess this hetero lifestyle has made me soft or something.

Anyhow, I’m trying to fight through it and get back to blogging.  I have a lot I want to say.  I’ve got stuff on the early years of my exgay experience, on “the right to change”, the rest of the identity series, exexgay series, etc.   (After some reflection, I don’t think I should say much about Jones and Yarhouse until I actually get to read the book, and I’m just going to borrow Ron’s copy after he’s done with it.)  Also, God willing, I might get to hang out with Peterson later this week, so that could provide some inspiration and/or motivation.   

So, if you’re still reading, I appreciate your patience and understanding.  I sincerely hope to get some posts out soon.  But I’m not going to stress about it. 

As far as the pregnancy goes, it’s still the first trimester, and a lot can go wrong, since timewise this is the miscarriage “danger zone.”  But I figured I would tell you all what’s up anyway, so you’ll know why I’ve been so scarce.  And so those who like to pray can pray for me and the baby if they feel so led.  I could especially use prayer for my eating–at some point I kind of need to stop losing weight, which means finding foods I can keep down, which is proving rather tough.  Apparently, the “average woman” theoretically should start to feel better in the next couple of weeks or so.  I sure hope I am an average woman at least in this respect!  In the meantime, I’m taking comfort in the fact that everyone says that my being really sick is a good sign that the baby is doing well.

So that’s what’s up with me. 

*The title is making fun of a notorious pamphlet by Paul Cameron, and should not be read as implying that the author seriously considers herself a heterosexual.


24 Responses to Medical Consequences of What Heterosexuals* Do

  1. Wow, you popped up in my RSS feeds and I thought, yay! she’s back. I will continue to pray for you as that life grows in you and apparent will not let you forget its presence. Rare in the US that someone asks for prayer to gain weight, at least in the Glamour/Cosmo/Adovate world.

    Looking forward to hanging out this week. whoa whoa.

  2. Congratulations! If it helps, just think of the morning sickness as God and your baby letting you know that baby is okay. (It helps me, but I don’t have morning sickness as badly as you do.)

    I hope that you have a happy and healthy pregnancy, that you feel better soon, and that you have many more!

  3. Just take care. We’re all waiting to hear from you when you are able. But, first things first. I’ll keep you in my prayers.

  4. NNR says:

    Hah! I suspected as much! Congrats, DM. Youre going to be a really terrific mother, it’s quite obvious.

  5. Jay says:

    Yay! 🙂 Congrats, DM! I’ll be praying for you.

  6. The Sheepcat says:

    Congratulations, DM! Wonderful news, on both counts. As for the morning sickness, well, this too shall pass.

  7. joe perez says:

    Yeah! (Love the title of your post, btw. It would make a good pamphlet.)

  8. Kurmudge says:

    How incredibly cool. Not meaning to denigrate the discomforts (there will be a few more as well, if my wife was indeed telling the truth way back when), but this too will likely pass, and the end result will change your life forever and irreversibly (as if it hasn’t already been changed a few times).

    Can you tell us what is the subject of the PhD? Is Mr. DM also overeducated?

  9. Karen K says:

    Hey! Welcome back! And congratulations! You know I was actually wondering if your absences was related to pregnancy or a new birth. Maybe I have psychic abilities. 🙂

  10. keypusher says:

    Wow! Congratulations!! My sister also found “morning sickness” to be a grievous misnomer. But it did get better for her, and I hope it will for you as well. Congratulations on your Ph.D., too. Good luck and God bless!

  11. wg says:


    Now that the ph.d. is done…. i pray for deep rest for you and baby….


  12. Liz says:

    with both my pregnancies I was seriously interested in cottage cheese. I lost all interest in coffee (which for me is a pretty abnormal state of affairs.) everyone is different. I have actually never heard of anyone with the proverbial pickles and ice cream. the worst of the food aversions does seem to be the first trimester but there are plenty of exceptions. Everyone is different. one of my pregnancies, I forget which one, I was wicked sick the first trimester and then used the second two as a free pass to eat anything that wasn’t moving. Not a good thing.

  13. I was sort of preoccupied with personal stuff when you first blogged this, so I decided to belatedly stop by to wish you well with the pregnancy.

  14. Anonymous says:

    Focus on the Family and Family Research Council will want to hear from you. Think of what a great example and witness you will be: no longer gay and married and expecting. Unfortunately since so many ex-gays don’t stay the course, your life can help redeem so many of the others who fell by the wayside and/or got found out to be charlatans like the infamous Ted Haggard.

  15. mary says:


    I find your comments degrading to ex gays on the whole.

  16. Anonymous says:

    Too bad. It’s not your blog, Mary.

  17. Okay kids, let’s chill out.


    If you truly believe that I think the way your comment suggests (wanting anything to do with FotF or FRC, seeing my marriage and pregnancy as a “witness”, thinking my life can “help redeem others”), then you don’t understand me at all. If you know better, and you’re just trying to be snarky, give it a rest. And while you’re at it, come up with a better pseudonym for yourself. “Anonymous” is fine for someone who just happens to drop by one day, but for a regular participant in conversations, it’s a little silly. Show respect to the other commenters here by using a consistent and unique identity.

    Everybody else,

    Thanks for the congratulations and the kind wishes and especially for the prayers, which have been deeply appreciated. We are now into the second trimester. I am still feeling pretty yucky, but it is a huge relief to know that the baby’s chances are now excellent. I’d give you all specific replies but I think you would prefer it if I devoted that time and energy into a real post, eh? 🙂

  18. Anonymous says:


    No, I don’t understand you at all. You strike me as a very abrasive and self-righteous person. Your blog is not worth commentary. You and your ex-gay cronies can bask in your obnoxiousness without interference.

  19. Joe_S says:

    Hey, anonybuddy. Leave my favorite exgay chick alone! She’s way cooler than you are sweetie.*

    DM, congrats! Looking forward to son/daughter of an exgay mom’s first blog post 🙂

    (* would Christ flame? Feeling guilty now.)

  20. NNR says:

    I hope you don’t think anonymous is me, right (as I may have posted my first 1 or 2 posts under that moniker)? Just checking…

    Are you finding out if this is a girl baby or a boy baby? We want names etc… Because I’m nosey.

  21. Joe:

    Thanks for the congrats! And thanks for the support too, but it’s cool. I’m just thrilled that Anonymous came out in the open with his/her feelings. Those thirty comments and 1.5 years (!) of barely-restrained contempt were getting kind of old.


    LOL! I know Anonymous isn’t you. I can see the IP addresses, so I can generally tell anonymous commenters apart. But you guys can’t, and so I feel that “regulars” should make up a distinctive pseudonym (I certainly don’t expect people to use their real or full names–this is the internet, after all) so that other readers/commenters can get some sense of continuity with the people they’re reading/talking to. It didn’t seem like an unreasonable request to me, especially since many blogs don’t allow anonymous commenters at all.

    We will try to find out if it is a girl or boy, but probably not until after Christmas. Names are still under discussion.


    Given that you feel my blog is not worth commentary, it seems logical and appropriate that you will not be commenting here anymore.

  22. NNR says:

    Just checking! Still, I’m unreasonably excited for you over this whole new part of your life. And it’s kinda fun parenting from the gay perspective, especially reading abouat all of LWO’s theories of the genesis of homosexuality. My daughter, who turned four last month, received a silver coat recently. “Ooooh!”, she squaled, “Mummy! Ilove it it! Silver’s the new black, you know!”

    Umm. Who are you, and where did you come from? I don’t know what we’re doing right/wrong, but I’ll eat my camo parker if that kid isn’t straight. The only Christmas present I remember being that excited about was my full length waxed cotton coat, so I could look like a cowboy on my horse…

  23. Wow! “Silver is the new black” at 4? I don’t know how I would handle that. I’m actually slightly nervous that God might give us an uber-femme little girl. Like, I’m not going to know how to do her hair all pretty and stuff like that!
    Oh well, we’ll cross that bridge if/when we come to it. 🙂

  24. NNR says:

    Oh yes you will. You will indeed. We have long discussions re: the french braid versus the Alice band. Depressingly, we also have to avoid Walmart now, because the visions of clothing made from cotton-candy pink knit polyester covered in sequins spelling “Princess” is all but overwhelming. Maybe they’re right, and lesbians shouldn’t raise children – all I know is I’m not having that stuff in my house!

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