Life seems determined to thwart my very best attempts to sit down and think and blog. I’ve been “up to my a** in alligators” as my momma likes to say. I could give you the list of everything that’s gone wrong, but it’s mundane and really really long and not very gay. And of course it’s all sort of silly in light of the REAL suffering going on all over the world. But I’m only capable of so much perspective, and right now dealing with chronic joint pain (knees and ankles and wrists and hands) and an endless parade of new-homeowner woes has been grating on me a bit. And yes, it’s a real blessing that we own a home, and ours is a beautiful one, and yes I need to be more mindful of that and less ungrateful. But sometimes I hanker a little for our old apartment, with the maintenance guy to keep everything barely functioning and no yard to resurrect (or fancy expensive lawn mower to keep having issues), except that there would be absolutely no place to put Baby DM.
The marriage and the baby feel pretty much like the only two things that are going right nowadays, and I suppose if you can only have two things go right, those are good ones. Mr. DM and I have recovered from our newborn-induced squabblefest, and now that the baby sleeps through the night more often than not we’re finally quasi-consistently getting both sleep and, um, quality time together, the first being a bit of a prereq for the second, which has made ALL the difference in the world. Our third anniversary was our most joyful one yet.
Baby DM is very healthy, very happy overall, and she’s gone from cute to drop dead gorgeous, turning heads wherever she goes. She’s very curious, wants to look at everything, wants to touch everything, wants to put everything in her mouth, wants to meet everybody. The girl who two months ago couldn’t do anything besides swat at stuffed animals now picks up her toys and turns them around in her hands, examining them carefully, looking for the best part to chew on. Her great-grandparents gave her an Elmo “cellphone” which makes terrible noises which she is absolutely in love with. They also introduced her to television while we were all on vacation together, which of course she loved, much to Mr. DM’s and my chagrin.
Her talking hasn’t evolved too much. She makes a lot of noise, but it’s basically just laughter and merry yodeling. She can roll over from back to belly but gets stuck there and eventually gets frustrated and starts to squawk. She also seems to have to developed some secret method of getting around–I have never actually witnessed her moving in any way besides the half-roll, which obviously doesn’t get her very far, but today when she was playing on this big blanket I have spread out for her and my back was momentarily turned, she somehow got mobile. I turned around to find her completely off the blanket, licking one of my flip-flops. (UGH!) I felt like the absolute worst mother ever, but she seems okay, and I have learned my lesson.
On to the matter at hand….
So, it’s become painfully apparent that my old style of blogging doesn’t fit so well with my new style of living. It’s not so much that I don’t have any time at all–it’s just that what time I do have generally comes in 15 minute segments. (Baby DM has little to no interest in napping.) And really, it takes me almost that long just to find my place in a typical DM draft and reacquaint myself with what I’ve been saying, which leaves zero time for actually writing or editing or thinking. And yet I really do want to blog somehow.
So I’m not quite sure what to do about this. Maybe I could do “littler” posts–both in the sense of lower word count (and all the people said, “Hallelujah!”) as well as in the sense of being less ambitious–less premeditated, more random, shallower, maybe more personal and less analytical. I think I just need to lighten up a little. I’d like to finish up some of the many dozens of drafts I have virtually piled all over, but I think they’re all a bit too complicated for my brain, my schedule, and my surplus energy level right now. Maybe I should just put up the chunks I have or something. We’ll see. I never wanted to sacrifice quality for quantity, but this is getting ridiculous. I figure I should just blog really badly (but more frequently) for a while, and hopefully get back into the swing of things eventually. So consider yourselves forewarned.
Anyway, I know metablogging is really annoying, and that it’s almost all I’ve put out lately. Sorry about that. Just wanted to let everybody know what was up…that I’m still here, that I still care about blogging and the issues. I just have to figure out how to make it happen.